


Unexpectedly Real

by Current521



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Fluff and Angst, M/M, New Relationship, Previous Bill/Ted, previous ted/charlotte, will add tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24215008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Current521/pseuds/Current521
Summary: Ted didn't plan on this, and Paul clearly didn't either. He doesn't have complaints, until he does. Until he doesn't.
Relationships: Paul Matthews/Ted
Comments: 64
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So... Paul/Ted content anyone?

Ted was firmly against office romances, and yet. He asked Paul for a ride home, since his own car was in the shop, and he couldn't help but flirt once they were alone. "This is a nice car," he said when he got in.

"Oh. Thanks." Paul turned the key in the ignition. "Where do you live again?"

"Just past the Starlight." Ted looked over his shoulder to the backseat. "Looks like a good place to fuck."

"I don't know, I haven't tried." Paul sounded only marginally less uncomfortable than he did the one time Ted had attempted to hug him, but honestly? That was pretty much his normal.

"Well then." Ted looked at Paul instead. "Only one way to find out." Ordinarily he'd wink, but Paul was keeping his eyes on the road, so he didn't.

"No that's not necessary. I trust your judgement." Paul wasn't smiling, exactly, but there was a certain set to his face that seemed almost amused. "Any other observations about the car?"

"No, but plenty about the man who drives it." Ted laughed. "Alright, fine, I'll stop flirting, it's no fun if you're not reacting."

Paul didn't reply, and he didn't take his eyes off the road, but he did put a hand on Ted's leg for a moment.

They drove the rest of the way in silence, save for Ted giving a few directions. "Here we are," he said as Paul pulled up. "Thanks for the ride."

"No problem Ted."

Ted hesitated for a moment. "Hey, wanna come up and have a drink or some coffee? As a thank you."

"Sure." Paul killed the engine and managed a smile. "Coffee sounds good."

"Nice." Ted led Paul to the building and up the stairs to his apartment. "Go ahead and sit down, I'll go start the machine." He gestured to the couch.

"Okay." Paul took a seat, and Ted went to get coffee.

He returned a few minutes later with two mugs of coffee. "You just drink it black, right?"

"Yup. Just black." Paul nodded and took the mug Ted handed him. "Thanks."

"Least I could do." Ted sat next to him with his own coffee — too much creamer — and decided fuck it, he could take a chance. He put one arm loosely around Paul's waist, just loosely enough that it seemed coincidental. "You drove me home and everything, that was nice of you."

"Oh yeah." Paul drained half his mug in one gulp. "I… No worries." Paul leaned ever-so-slightly into Ted's side, just slightly enough to be casual.

Ted decided to take it as a hint and put an arm properly around him, pulling him closer. "Oh well, still."

"Ted." Paul didn't make any attempt to free himself, and he felt relaxed enough as far as Ted could tell, but there was definitely a warning in his voice. "What are you doing?"

"Honestly? I don't know." Ted rested his cheek on Paul's head for a moment. "Flirting, I think."

"Okay." Paul nodded slightly, still not freeing himself. "Okay. That's fine."

"Is it?" Ted chuckled a little. "I will stop if you ask me. Maybe. I'll tone it down. I'll try."

Paul managed something that could be a laugh at that. "No, it's okay. No. Okay."

"Okay." Ted looked at him for a few seconds. He was mildly into Paul, not enough to be upset if he was rejected, but enough to try. "If I try to kiss you, are you gonna run out of here screaming?"

"No." Paul did free himself then, but only enough that he could look at Ted. "No, that's not what I'd do at all."

"Good." Ted leaned forward to kiss him. Just a quick peck on the lips, no need to take it too far just yet, but definitely a kiss.

"Okay." Paul nodded quickly. "Okay." He smiled.

"Okay?" Ted shook his head slightly at him. "Good, because I wasn't planning on stopping."

"I wasn't planning on stopping you."

Ted leaned in to kiss Paul again, but this time, it was a proper kiss. This time, he brought a hand up to hold the back of Paul's neck, holding their faces together. He could feel Paul putting both hands on his hips, steadying him.

Paul was the one to break away, eventually. "Hey," he said softly.

"Hey." Ted smiled. "What's up?"

"I wasn't expecting this."

Ted shrugged. "Neither was I. I'm sure not complaining either." He pulled Paul in for another quick kiss. "Are you?"

"No." Paul smiled, leaning closer to Ted. "I'm not complaining, I'm just not good at this."

"That's fine." Ted kissed his forehead. "You know, I've kissed a lot of people, you're pretty up there."

"Okay." Paul nodded. "Okay." He pulled Ted slightly closer and leaned in to kiss him again.

Ted was not particularly fond of exercising self-control when it came to attractive people making out with him, so he decided that pulling himself into Paul's lap was a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Paul held him away, without breaking the kiss, and Ted was about to lean away and ask when he realised why; Paul slid into Ted's lap, straddling him and pressing his knees into his hips, and yeah okay, Ted was not about to complain about that.

Paul was the one who broke away again, far too quickly for Ted's liking, though he suspected it had been several minutes. "Ted, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why are you doing this?" Paul looked… Not uncomfortable, exactly, and he was still sitting comfortably in Ted's lap, hands on his shoulders, but he did look a little out of his depth. "What's happening?"

"What's happening is that a very attractive man didn't immediately run away when I kissed him, so I kept kissing him." Ted shrugged slightly. "I'm doing this because you're hot and I had a chance. Honestly, that's it."

"Okay." Paul nodded. "Okay." He leaned in to give Ted another peck on the lips. "Okay."

"What's wrong?" Ted sighed. He wasn't entirely sure he was gonna put in any actual effort to make Paul hook up with him, but he was definitely gonna make sure it didn't happen because Paul thought he had to. "You don't have to do this, you can leave."

"No, I'm fine." Paul shook his head. "I'm fine, I enjoy this." He leaned in to kiss Ted again. "I just need to know what it is."

"It's…" Ted shrugged again. "I don't know. A hook-up? Probably. Yeah."

Ted decided that the sound Paul made was a laugh, although it sounded suspiciously like a scoff. "Given your track record, that's what I should have expected."

"Hey, that's not fair," Ted protested, but he knew Paul was right. "Okay, it is fair. But does that work for you?"

"For now." Paul shrugged. "I'm not staying the night."

"Sure." Ted kissed him. "Staying for dinner?"

"Maybe. Depends."

"On."

"How long this takes." Paul leaned in to kiss him, and Ted was familiar with the slight tug on his tie, so he took that as an invitation to push Paul's suit jacket onto the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

They didn't end up fucking, because Paul decided he wasn't there yet and Ted wasn't about to push it, but they did spend a while making out on the couch, mostly with Paul still in Ted's lap, which he was pretty happy about. And yeah okay, even when Paul pulled back and went to sit next to him instead, him without a jacket and tie and with a few too many buttons open was more exposed skin than Ted had ever seen from him, and he was more than okay with that.

They ordered takeout, and halfway through eating, Paul suddenly laughed.

"What's up?" Ted asked.

"This is ridiculous." Paul put down his slice of pizza. "I'm making out with my best friend's ex."

Ted, knowing exactly what Paul referred to, shook his head. "I am not Bill's ex, I am the guy Bill hooked up with twice after getting a divorce. We barely even talked, and when we did, he just complained about Laura."

"Who you've also slept with," Paul added. "Don't look so surprised, Bill told me."

"I didn't know Bill knew," Ted admitted. "Does he know when that happened? Because it wasn't recently."

"He knows." Paul shrugged. "Apparently Laura admitted to cheating on him."

"Huh." Ted shrugged, deciding that it wasn't worth thinking about. "I expected he'd be mad at me, but I slept with him more than her, so I guess not."

"I guess not." Paul shook his head. "Either way. How many people from our office have you hooked up with? Including spouses."

"Uhh…" Ted thought for a minute. "Four."

"Me, Bill, Laura… Charlotte?"

"Five including you," Ted corrected. "Charlotte and Carol Davidson."

"Oh no, Ted, you— Why?"

Ted shrugged. "Long story, and as always, I'm the asshole." He grinned. "You and Bill are the only ones who haven't cheated on someone with me in like, a lot of years. Like, too many years."

"Right." Paul shook his head. "And how many people have you cheated on?"

"None." Ted smiled. "Ever. Even when I was seeing Charlotte regularly I wasn't hooking up with anyone else, although she sure was. Never." He was actually pretty proud of that; sure, not cheating was a pretty low bar to pass, but not cheating on someone who was married to someone else was a slightly higher bar to pass, in Ted's opinion. And he hadn't.

"Good." Paul smiled and picked his pizza back up. "Because I was considering asking you on a proper date."

"I accept." Ted smiled. "I just need to cancel a date I'm a lot less invested in first."

Paul sighed. "So you're cheating on someone."

"No, Melissa insisted on setting me up on a blind date, because apparently Charlotte moving away made me sad." Ted took out his phone and texted Melissa that she could cancel on her friend, he could get his own dates, thank you very much. "But since I don't even know who this person is, and it's before our first date, I don't consider that cheating."

"Okay." Paul nodded. "Okay you're right." He glanced at the glass of wine Ted was drinking from. "How comfortable is the couch?"

Ted winked, knowing exactly where Paul was going and ignoring it. "Pretty decent if you're getting busy."

Paul sighed. "I meant to sleep on, I was gonna ask for some wine, and then I won't have to drive back here to pick you up in the morning, since you apparently still don't have a car."

"Oh, yeah, thanks." Since that was kind of sweet, Ted decided to let the flirting slide. "It's not great for sleeping, but I mean, if you don't wanna fuck I'm perfectly capable of staying on my own half of the bed. It’s a double, so there's enough space."

"Yeah uh… I might just drive home then. Thanks though."

Ted shrugged. "Sure. Whatever you say babe."

"Thanks." Paul shook his head a little. Then he reached out for Ted's wine glass and took a sip. "What?" Apparently he was aware of Ted's surprised expression. "We're adults."

"You literally just said you'd be going home," Ted pointed out. "I mean, not that I'm gonna stop you from driving after only half a glass of wine, but you see my confusion, right?"

"I changed my mind." Paul kept sipping the wine. "I'll stay. Why not."

Ted slowly shook his head. "I mean, I'm not complaining, that's for sure."

"Don't make me regret this, Ted."

"Sorry." Ted smiled, looking only slightly more sorry than he felt. "But seriously, my shitty flirting is an invitation for sure, but I can take no for an answer. Let me know if you wanna fuck, but we can keep just making out."

"Yeah." Paul emptied the wine glass and poured another. Ted considered getting himself a new glass, but didn't bother. "I uhh, I haven't been on a date in like 15 years."

"Neither have I man." Ted shrugged. "I normally just go for, you know, seeing what happens, don't do anything you don't wanna do, that sort of thing."

"Right." Paul nodded. "Okay." He smiled a little. "You're less of an asshole about this than imagined."

"Oh come on!" Ted rolled his eyes. "I'm really not that bad. I know I'm a jerk, but not  _ that  _ kind of a jerk."

"How could I have known that?"

"I don't know. From Bill? Who, okay, didn't try. Charlotte?" Ted shrugged. "Us being friends for two years? I don't know man." He narrowed his eyes at Paul for a moment. "If you expected me to be an asshole about it, why did you let me kiss you?"

"Because I wanted to kiss you." Paul smiled a little bit. "Because I could always just walk out and drive home."

"Fair enough." Ted smiled. "Hey, are you done eating? Because if you still want to kiss me, that can absolutely happen."

Paul rolled his eyes, but nodded. “I’m done.” Then he moved to Ted’s side of the table and sat on his lap again to kiss him, so Ted wasn’t about to comment on the eye roll.


	3. Chapter 3

Paul was incredibly awkward when it came to going to bed, which meant that Ted made a point out of being as casual as possible. Which also resulted in him being undressed and in bed with Paul still standing mostly dressed in the centre of the room.

Ted sighed. "Something wrong?"

"I just uhh…" Paul gestured vaguely to himself.

"I can turn around if you want, but come on. You can keep your shirt on or whatever you need to do to be comfortable, but just come to bed."

"Okay." Paul, who had never bothered picking up either his suit jacket or his tie from the living room, quickly shrugged off his shirt. "I'm keeping the pants," he said, laying down next to Ted.

"Whatever. Do you plan on wearing them to work tomorrow after sleeping in them?" Ted smiled at him, because yeah okay, having Paul in his bed was not how he planned his day, but he was pretty satisfied with it. "Because I wouldn't."

Paul sighed. "Yes, I do. It doesn't matter." He put a hand on Ted's shoulder. "Are you actually not gonna be a jerk about this?"

"Of course not." Ted leaned forward just enough to give Paul a kiss. "I am gonna say, I'm open to most things, so consider this general consent until I say otherwise, but you know, it goes both ways. If you don't want something, it won't happen."

"Thanks." Paul kissed him again. "I trust you." He moved his hand from Ted's shoulder to his hand, lacing their fingers together.

"You should." Ted smiled at him, trying to be reassuring. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Paul smiled back.

Ted closed his eyes, and yes, his instinct was to pull Paul close to his chest, but he just held his hand and slept with half a foot of space between them.

Ted had pulled Paul into a hug in his sleep, but he moved away as soon as the alarm went off. "Good morning," he said, switching it off. "How did you sleep?"

"Alright." Paul blinked awake. "Were you hugging me?"

"Yeah, sorry." Ted got out of bed and grabbed some clothes. "Come on, do you want breakfast?"

"Uh, yeah." Paul got up and grabbed his shirt. "Thanks for letting me crash."

"Thanks for driving me around." Ted was getting weirded out by the two feet of distance and lack of acknowledgement, so he leaned over to kiss Paul. "And, you know, that."

"Yeah." Paul took his hand. "Hey, it's Friday, do you have plans tonight?"

"No, what were you thinking?" Ted wanted another night of casually talking and making out, but he also knew that he'd get further by shutting up. "Another night like last?" So maybe Ted was famously good at sabotaging his own relationships.

"Not quite." Paul smiled. "But uhh, let's go grab a drink or something? Does that work for you?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Ted silently thanked the universe for not making Paul ask him for dinner. "Just after work?"

"Yeah." Paul kissed him. "Also, can I ask another favour?"

"Of course babe."

"Can we keep this between us for now? Bill is my best friend, but I'm not… Exactly… Out." Paul averted his eyes. "So I prefer to tell him in private."

"Sure, no worries." Ted put an arm around Paul's waist and pulled him in for a kiss, a little longer. "You do know Bill isn't gonna be a bitch about it, right?"

"Yes, but you know Bill. He's gonna get weird anyway, because  _ he  _ told me even though he was married or whatever. And because it's you." Paul shook his head slightly. "Just, please?"

"Sure thing babe." Ted kissed him. "I'll go make some coffee and some toast." He let Paul go and went to the kitchen.

Paul came out a few minutes later, having picked up his tie and suit jacket on the way. "Thanks," he said when Ted handed him a mug of coffee.

"You're welcome." Ted decided that he might as well get used to not kissing Paul whenever  _ before  _ they got to work, so although he kind of wanted to, he just smiled and gestured to the table. "Sit, food is ready in a moment."

Paul smiled and sat down. "Is this what you're normally like with people you hook up with?"

"Nope, normally I kick them out." Ted grinned as he sat down across from Paul with two plates of toast and beans. "But uhh, I need a ride." It wasn't the only reason he hadn't kicked Paul out, but he suspected that wasn't subtle.

"That's all?" Paul raised an eyebrow.

"Oh uhh, and you're my friend, I guess." Ted rolled his eyes and smiled.

They ate breakfast pretty quickly and then drove to work. Ted earned another kiss in the car before they walked up, which he was pretty happy about.


	4. Chapter 4

Being at work was… Fine. It was work. Melissa pulled him aside and asked why he'd cancelled, and he told her he had a date he'd set up himself and wanted to go on. For once, he didn't feel bad about lying to her, because he wasn't. He was, however, impatient and wanting to pull Paul aside for… Something. But he didn't have an excuse for Bill.

Paul came up to his desk five minutes before they were off. "Ready to go?"

"Uh yeah, just gotta shut down." Ted sent him a quick smile. "I'll be there in a sec."

Paul waited by Ted's desk until Ted was ready to go, and then they left together. Ted stopped himself from taking Paul's hand when they walked through the office, but the parking lot was pretty shielded from view, so he did then. Paul smiled and didn't draw his hand back until he had to drive.

They drove to a nice pub, Paul ordered for both of them — because unlike Ted, he could say the word  _ cosmopolitan  _ without wanting to throw up — and then also paid both, even though Ted made a half-hearted protest about it.

"So," Paul said once they were sitting at a table. "How was your day?"

"Oh you know, the usual." Ted considered if it was worth cheaply flirting with Paul, or if he should be sincere. "I mean, there was this hot guy in my bed when I woke up? That part was pretty good, not gonna lie." He grinned.

Paul shook his head, but he was also smiling and blushing. "Yeah, me too."

"And he bought me a drink, so I'm liking my chances." Ted decided to reach over the table and take Paul's hand. "How about you? How are you doing?"

"Fine." Paul smiled a little and intertwined their fingers. "I'm on a date with a man I've been considering asking for a while, so that's quite nice. And he's being a sweetheart."

Ted shook his head. "Paul. Come on. You know me. I am not anyone's definition of  _ sweetheart _ ."

"You're mine." Paul leaned over the table to kiss him.

Ted kissed him back, but it was on autopilot, because  _ smooth  _ was not a word he had ever expected to apply to Paul, but that line delivery had, in fact, been smooth. "That was terrible," he said as soon as they broke the kiss. "Absolutely terrible. I regret even setting it up."

Paul laughed. "I'm happy you did." There was an almost proud slant to his smile. "It was a line used on me in high school, it didn't work, but I thought you might appreciate it."

"You thought wrong." Ted rolled his eyes, but then he leaned over for a kiss. "I did not appreciate the pun."

"You're smiling."

"I appreciated the kiss. Not the pun." Ted downed his drink, because the only thing that should be sipped, in his opinion, was scotch. Maybe a nice Irish whiskey, but certainly not a mixed drink.

"Okay." Paul nodded. "Sure. Hey, what are you doing after this?"

Paul deserved to have a bad pun thrown back at him, Ted decided. "You, hopefully."

"Okay." Paul downed his own drink, his smile suddenly stiffened. "Okay."

Ted sighed. "Sorry, that wasn't intended to make you uncomfortable. You just deserved a bad pun."

"Okay." Paul got up. "Ready to go?"

"That might be the shortest date I've ever been on." But Ted stood up.

"Who said the date was over?" Paul took his hand when they walked to the car.

"I can work with that." Ted allowed himself a moment of being too much and gave Paul a proper kiss, pushing him slightly against the car. "I can absolutely work with that."

"Okay." Paul looked momentarily flustered, but he chased the kiss, so Ted figured he was in the clear. "My place this time, though."

"Absolutely."

Ted hadn't been to Paul's apartment before, so he kicked off his shoes and hung his jacket and then let Paul lead the way. They went into the living room, and Paul went to straighten something on a cupboard, so Ted leaned against the wall behind him. "Nice place," he said because, well, it was. And because that was the kind of thing you said. "It's tidier than mine, that's for damn sure."

"Your place is a mess, Ted." Paul turned to look at him. "Honestly."

"I know." Ted smirked slightly. "I like messy."

Paul sighed, but he took a step closer and planted a kiss on his lips. "You know those kinds of lines aren't gonna work."

"No lines are gonna work on you Paul, might as well try everything."

Another kiss, but this time, Ted put his hand on the back of Paul's neck to keep him closer, tangling his fingers in his hair, and Paul put his hands on Ted's hips, and suddenly, Ted found himself effectively pinned against the wall making out with Paul, and he was entirely okay with that. Sure, he was holding Paul in place more than the other way around, but a guy could dream.

By the time Paul broke the kiss, they were both breathing heavily, and Ted wasn't about to let him get a word in just yet, so he chased the kiss. Paul humoured him, but not for long enough, in Ted's opinion. "Do you wanna uhh, sit down or something?" Paul had a big dumb smile on his face that Ted was pretty sure he'd have found annoying just a few weeks ago, but now was kind of endearing.

"Sure." Ted kissed him again. "Why not."

They went to the couch to sit. Ted automatically put an arm around Paul, who in turn leaned into him. "I was going to make you watch a film with me, but it occurred to me that no one  _ makes  _ you do anything," Paul said. Ted wasn't looking at him, but he could hear the smile well enough.

"Lots of people make me do things." Ted dropped a kiss on Paul's hair. "What were you gonna make me watch?"

" _ Shape of Water. _ Because you mentioned you haven't watched it, which is honestly a shame."

"Fish fucker," Ted muttered, but then he smiled. "Sure."

Paul narrowed his eyes at him. "I heard that." He got up from the couch and went to look for the DVD — it was 2019, who even had DVDs anymore, Ted thought — and put it on. "You know," he said as he sat back down. "I was gonna let it slide if you decided to make out with me instead of watching, but then you just had to go and be rude." He wrapped an arm around Ted's waist. "So now I'm actually making you pay attention."

"Mm-hmm." Ted, who had definitely not planned on distracting himself with making out, planted another kiss on Paul's hair. "How long do you think you can keep that up, babe?"

"Long enough." Paul pressed play and settled back on the couch, still leaning against Ted.

Unfortunately, Paul was right. No matter how much Ted tried to distract him with kisses, Paul would simply give him a quick peck, and then turn his attention away. Even when Ted gave up trying to reach his lips and just kissed his neck instead, Paul would stop him after a few seconds and say something technical about the movie and somehow move himself so that Ted didn't have easy access to him. Did that make Ted pay attention? No, but it did occur to him that Paul might actually be uncomfortable with the kissing, so he ended up just cuddling lightly into his side and pretending to pay attention.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's angst time babes

Ted spent the night. It wasn't exactly planned, but he also wasn't surprised. Except this time, Paul let him hold him, and although Ted was absolutely not used to sleeping with someone he wasn't fucking, he kind of enjoyed it. So what if Paul wanted to take it slow, Ted could be patient. He  _ wanted  _ to be, which he wasn't used to, but he was okay with it.

He had to pick up his car in the morning, so Paul drove him to the shop and said they'd talk later, and then left. Which meant that Ted was looking at a weekend alone, without any reason to go hook up with anyone.

He texted Paul goodnight Saturday evening, and while the lack of a response was annoying, it never occurred to him that it might be concerning.

Ted was woken up by his phone Sunday morning; Paul. "Hey babe."

"Hey Ted. Can I come over?"

"Sure." Ted checked the time. "Now?"

"It's 10.30 in the morning."

"Yeah, no worries." Ted sat up. "When will you be here?"

"About twenty minutes. See you then." Paul hung up without waiting for a reply.

"Huh." Ted got up and got dressed and managed to eat breakfast before the doorbell rang. "Hey Paul." Ted smiled and leaned up to kiss him.

Paul turned out of the kiss. "Um, we need to… Talk. Yeah. Sorry."

"It's alright." Ted was a little bothered. Sure, he hadn't gotten fully invested in Paul, but some part of him had hoped, but he was pretty sure he knew where this led. "Come on in, I made coffee."

They sat at the table in the kitchen. "Right." Paul sighed. "I think… This… Is not working. And I think it needs to end."

"Okay." Ted nodded and tried to keep an impassive face. "Okay, that's fine, that's… That's your choice. But can I ask why?" Sometimes he wished he knew how to shut up. "I thought we were fine, I thought… Maybe this could be something. It's fine if you don't agree, I'm just curious."

"I don't— I don't wanna talk about it." Paul downed his coffee. "I mean, okay, okay, I talked to Bill yesterday after dropping you off. And I told him about you, and he said he didn't like you and—"

"Paul." Ted was fully aware that interrupting was a bad move, but he couldn't stop himself. "Paul, are you seriously going to let Bill's — probably rather biased — opinion affect your own?"

"No, it's not that, I told him that!" Paul shook his head. "No, it's— It's not his opinion, it's… He told me what you did, Ted, and I— I can't work with that. Sorry." Paul looked as uncomfortable as always, but Ted had gotten used to him being more relaxed around him, and it was annoying to see this again when they were alone.

"What did I do?" Ted leaned back in his chair, desperately reminding himself that he should not be aggressive. "Slept with his wife? You knew that. Hooked up with him and  _ didn't _ go on a date? He didn't ask, I'll have you know. I know I wasn't exactly  _ nice  _ to him, but you know me well enough, nothing I did to Bill should surprise you."

"Okay. Okay. Okay." Paul put his coffee down. "If you're going to be like that, I'm leaving." He got up.

"Paul." Ted followed him to the door. "Paul, please, just listen to me for a moment." Paul stopped walking, so Ted took that as a sign to continue. "Whatever Bill told you, he's either lying or exaggerating. I didn't do anything you'd be like this over, and either way, I like you a lot more than him. But it doesn't matter, because I know he's your best friend, and you're gonna believe him over me. Just… I wanted this to work. See you tomorrow." There was no real point in arguing, Ted supposed.

"See you tomorrow, Ted." And with that, Paul was gone.

Going to work on a Monday morning was never fun, but that particular Monday morning sucked even more than usual. Ted had gotten very drunk after Paul left, because he'd been surprisingly upset about being broken up with by someone he wasn't even dating, which meant that he went to work hungover and having to look at not one, but two almost-exes. He almost wished Charlotte was still in town too, just to complete the set.

"How was your date?" Melissa asked when they had lunch together.

"Great." Ted packed as much sarcasm into the word as he could. "You know, until two days later where he dumped me because someone else told him lies about me."

"I'm sorry." Melissa's smile dropped. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Ted considered his options. He hadn't told Melissa that the person in question was Paul, and out of respect for Paul, he shouldn't. "Yeah, it's just uhh… It's Paul. And Bill is the one who told him shit about me, but I don't know what exactly, Paul acted like I should already know, but honestly? I know I wasn't great to Bill or whatever, but nothing I did should come as a surprise to Paul, who knew already that I'd hooked up with Laura back when they were still married, and that I hooked up with Bill after the divorce, he knows about Charlotte and Carol… Like honestly, if he was gonna take me on a date after that, what actually happened with me and Bill shouldn't be an issue. So. Bill lied to him, or at least exaggerated." Ted took a deep breath; he hadn't expected to rant, but there he was.

"Talk to Bill if it bothers you so much," Melissa said. "Ask him what his deal is, apologise for whatever you did to him and ask him to come clean to Paul. If you like him."

"He's the cause of my hangover," Ted replied, which was as close to admitting he was gonna get.

Melissa knew this too. "Talk to Bill. You're a grown man, Ted."

"That's generous," he muttered. "I'm going to Beanie's, wanna come?"

"Sure." Melissa shook her head slightly, but she dropped the subject, and Ted could appreciate that about her.


	6. Chapter 6

A day passed, and then another. In fact, days kept passing, and Ted and Paul kept avoiding one another, and Ted kept avoiding Bill, who had never stopped avoiding him. He went out Thursday and found a decently attractive woman and bought her drinks until she let him fuck her in the bathroom, which didn't make him feel  _ better _ , but did make him feel less like touching his lips every time he thought about Paul.

Because he did think about Paul, way too often. And by Friday he'd gotten sick of it, so he walked over to Bill's desk. "Bill."

"What do you want Ted?"

"To talk. In private, please." Ted tried to sound friendly, because he needed to ask a favour. "Please, it's important."

"Fine." Bill sighed, but he shut down his computer and stood up, following Ted to the break room. "What do you need to talk about?"

"I need you to talk to Paul," Ted said, taking a deep breath. "I am asking you to talk to Paul. Whatever you told him about me… Did you lie to him?"

"You're not good for him, Ted." Bill crossed his arms. "All I'm doing is keeping Paul safe."

"He's a grown man. And you didn't answer my question: Did you lie to him about me?"

"So what if I did?"

"So what?" Ted reminded himself that he still needed a favour. "Bill, I know I did some… Less than ideal things to you. But Paul is your best friend. Are you going to lie to him in order to ruin a relationship he wanted?" Ted waited for an answer; nome came. "I am asking you to please be honest with Paul about what you told him and what I actually did. That's all. But if he's leaving me, I want it to be with the right info."

Bill stared for a few seconds. Then he nodded. "I'm talking to Paul."

"Thank you." Ted breathed a sigh of relief; sure, he was pretty certain it wasn't gonna change anything between him and Paul, but as someone with a lot of true accusations under his belt, Ted hated false ones.

He was about to say something more, but Bill was already gone, and with Ted's tendency to self-sabotage, that was probably for the best.

Once again, he was woken up Sunday morning by Paul calling him. "Hello?"

"Hey Ted, it's… It's Paul."

"What do you want Paul?"

"To talk. I owe you… An apology. Can I come over?"

"Yes."

"Good, because I'm in the parking lot." Paul hung up, Ted swore, and got out of bed and put some clothes on.

He was halfway through buttoning his shirt when the doorbell rang. "Hi Paul," he said, opening the door with one hand and finishing buttoning up with the other. "Come on in."

"Thanks." Paul stepped inside and put a hand on Ted's arm. "Can we sit?"

"Sure." Ted went to the couch, Paul following. He sat cross legged, facing Paul, who wasn't quite looking at him. "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, uh, okay." Paul was fidgeting; that wasn't unusual, but it was distracting. "I talked to Bill. Um. He said… Maybe he wasn't entirely honest about you. He didn't— He didn't say what parts he wasn't honest about though, and I— I don't know if I'm ready for this anyway, but… I think I owe it to you to try, if that's what you want."

Ted tried to stay neutral, or at least that's what he'd tell himself later. In reality, he leaned away. "Paul. How many times do I need to tell you not to do anything you don't want to do?"

"I know." Paul looked at him then. He wasn't smiling, but there was a certain softness to his face anyway. "I don't know what happened between you and Bill, but I don't think it's any of my business."

Ted moved so that he was sat properly next to Paul, and didn't touch him. "Why don't you tell me what Bill said, and I'll correct it with my version of events?"

"Sure." Paul fidgeted. "He said that you were stringing him along for several months. He said that… That you never cared about him."

"Okay, that last part is true, I didn't." Ted shrugged. "But I wouldn't say I was stringing him along. We hooked up, I said something dumb and generic about being available if he ever wanted to repeat the experience, he said no, then we didn't talk except for at work for a few months, then we hooked up again. I wouldn't call that stringing him along."

“Right.” Paul was still fidgeting. “I don’t know, Ted, I wanted… Something from this. If that’s what you do that’s fine, but that’s not what I want.”   
“Me either.” Ted reached out to take Paul’s hand. It wasn’t his fault; it was Bill’s. “I do like you. I didn’t like Bill, I never have.”   
“Why’d you sleep with him then?” Paul drew his hand back. “Why even bother?”   
“Easy sex.” Ted shrugged. “It’s what I  _ do _ , it’s the same reason I slept with Laura, and Charlotte, and Carol, and a lot of other people I’ve slept with, I’ll be honest.”

“Exactly.” Paul stood up. “Sorry Ted, I— I enjoyed this, but I can’t do that.”

“No, Paul, Paul, wait.” Ted stood up as well and followed Paul to the hall. “Paul. You’re different, you get that, right? You’re not easy sex and that’s  _ fine _ because I want to wait for you. I don’t know what that means either, but it’s true.”   
“Ted…” Paul put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that.”   
“Fine.” Ted stepped away. “Enjoy your day.”

Paul left and Ted, once again, got drunk because of him.

It took two weeks of Ted carefully avoiding Paul for Melissa to notice. "Something happened," she said when she dragged Ted off to Beanie's during their lunch break. "With you and Paul, you've been avoiding him more than usual."

"Aha." Ted decided to pay for both their coffees, because it didn't matter, and because he really needed Melissa to drop the subject. "I don't want to talk to him."

"Ted. Do you like the man?"

"Nope." Ted downed half his iced coffee in one go. "I'm over it."

"You're not though." She elbowed him in the side. "Hey, I'm meeting Christina and a couple of other people for drinks tonight. I was gonna invite Paul, wanna come?"

"Only if he doesn't." Ted smiled, knowing full well it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm not going out with Paul."

"Yes you are. And I'm making you be civil."

"You're a terrible friend."

That didn't make Melissa drop the subject, though, so Ted promised he'd come out, even if Paul was going, and secretly promised himself he'd fake an illness if that was the case.


	7. Chapter 7

Paul was coming, so Ted tried to leave with a migraine, but Melissa raised an eyebrow and called him a pussy, so he went. And it wasn't terrible. In fact it was nice. Melissa's girlfriend, Christina, was a nice woman, and there were two other people there that he was vaguely aware of having seen at Melissa's place during a party once. The only issue was that Melissa was with her girlfriend, and the two other people were dating, which left him and Paul sitting across from each other at one end of the booth, vaguely third-wheeling a couple each. And yeah okay, Ted was seated next to Rose, whom he'd met before, and whose partner was a quiet sort, so he could mostly talk to her and ignore Paul. And sure, Paul mostly spoke to Christina and Melissa next to him, but they managed to be civil for the little bit of polite interaction they did have, and it was fine. Ted convinced himself that he was  _ actually  _ over what happened with Paul, because he managed to have a good time in spite of his presence.

Until they left, when Paul stopped him in the parking lot. "Hey Ted?"

"Uh huh?" Ted stopped and threw Paul the fakest smile he could manage, because he was an adult who could handle a conversation with his not-quite-ex.

"Can we uhh, talk? Alone?" Paul was fidgety, and Ted ignored it because he didn't care.

"This is alone." Ted leaned against his car. He was right; the others had left already, so the parking lot was as much privacy as he was willing to give Paul. "What do you wanna talk about?"

"I'm sorry." Paul looked like he wanted to be somewhere else. "I wasn't particularly nice to you when we— When—"

"When you dumped me." Ted wasn't much for mincing his words at the best of times. "No you weren't. Apology accepted. Forgiveness… Possibly coming. Was that all?"

"No, but… It can wait until you've forgiven me." Paul smiled, and it was soft and teasing and just a little flirtatious (no wishful thinking).

Ted smiled back, probably the first real smile he'd sent Paul in a while. "Just because I'm curious, you're forgiven."

"Right." Paul stepped closer, and it would be smooth if he wasn't so obviously trying to be. "I'm asking you to come home with me. I uhh, I thought about it for a bit. and as long as we're both on the same page, it's fine. What that page is is up to you but uhh… Open invitation."

Ted definitely wasn't into Paul, he told himself as he reached out and pulled Paul in for a kiss. "I accept," he said when they broke apart.

Paul's smile was very nearly a grin. "Good." He took Ted's hand. "Come on, I'll drive, we can go pick up your car later."

Ted wasn't inclined to argue with that plan.

Ted was fully aware the he should insist on a proper conversation about their relationship or whatever, and sooner rather than later, but that was  _ really _ hard to think about when Paul pushed him against a wall and kissed him pretty much the moment they got inside, and it was even harder to think at all when he could feel Paul's hands tugging at his tie, so Ted decided that talking could wait a little bit longer than getting busy.

Paul didn't look like someone who'd done much of randomly hooking up, because when they were done and laying in bed, he sent Ted a big dumb smile that was definitely annoying and not endearing at all. "Hey you."

Ted chuckled a little at that. "Hey you," he repeated. "How was that?"

"Um, good, it was good." Paul didn't drop his smile. "I am open to repeat the experience."

"Yeah, me too, just give me a minute." Ted grinned. "Actually more than a minute." He pulled himself up on his elbows. "I'm gonna be honest here, which I'm not good at, so to make a long question short: What the fuck, Paul?"

Paul laughed, and the slightly breathy laugh when he was laying in bed, hair a mess and lips bruised from kissing, that was  _ hot _ and Ted was tempted to drop the subject and fuck him again. "I don't know." Paul still had that dumb smile on his face. "I improvised."

"You — Paul Matthews — Mr. "I have a Christmas sweater for every day of December and I always wear them in the same order" —  _ you  _ improvised?" Ted shook his head slightly. "Okay, I didn't, so we're gonna have a good little talk about what the fuck is happening here, and when that's done, then we can have fun."

"Alright." Paul nodded. "Okay."

Ted took a moment to sort through his head. "Okay, we were kinda vaguely seeing each other for what, four days? And you didn't want to have sex, so we didn't, which isn't the point. You dumped me because Bill lied to you, we didn't talk for a week, you apologised and effectively dumped me again, we didn't talk for two weeks, now we've hooked up. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what happened, right?"

"Okay." Paul nodded slightly. "Yes, okay, yes. And I'm sorry. But I uhh, I realised something. Today, when we were out. I don't really care that Bill is mad at you, or what you did to him. I like you, and uhh… Yeah."

Ted rolled his eyes, but he smiled. "I like you too. And yeah, I'm good at the 'easy sex' thing, but you're not that, so… Can we work with that?"

"We can." Paul leaned up and kissed him. "So uhh… Another date tomorrow?"

"Yeah." It was fine, Ted decided. It wasn't perfect, but it was fine for now, and Paul was hot and smiling at him like  _ that  _ and Ted was content to distract himself trailing kisses down his neck.

Fortunately, it seemed that Paul was happy to let him.

As much as Ted hated Paul's stupid Christmas sweaters, he had to admit that Paul wearing just boxers and the dumbest of his sweaters (December 13th; Ted remembered thinking this was the dumbest one the past two years as well) while making coffee for both of them was somewhat enticing. As was the idea of walking up behind him and wrapping both arms around him, so that's exactly what Ted did. "Hey Paul?"

Paul hummed in reply.

"What made you change your mind?" Ted kissed his cheek. "Three weeks ago you were adamant about not having sex, and you know I'm not complaining, 'cause sex is fucking awesome, but I am curious."

Paul chuckled and took a sip of his coffee, gesturing to the other mug. "I don't know. I guess I just… Changed my mind." He shrugged Ted off and turned around, wrapping an arm around him instead. "Decided that it wasn't worth holding out. Whatever."

"Well, no matter what, I appreciate it." Ted grinned at him and kissed him. He liked that he could do that. "Also, you have no right to be this hot when it's time to go home."

"Is it?" Paul looked at him out of the corner of one eye. "I don't mind spending the night with you."

Ted had told himself he'd go home, but he was also a weak man, and a weak man with a crush, at that.

The temptation to lift Paul up on the kitchen counter to make out with him won, so that's exactly what he did.


	8. Chapter 8

Paul did drive him out to pick up his car Saturday morning. "I'll pick you up at seven," Ted promised as he kissed Paul goodbye. "Wear something nice."

"I always do," Paul replied.

"You're wearing a Christmas sweater." Ted pulled him in for another kiss. "Something not that, we're going somewhere nice."

"Where?"

"It's a surprise." Ted grinned, because he hadn't actually planned it yet, but he had a few ideas. "Seven. See you then."

"See you then." Paul smiled and got in his own car.

Ted drove home, smiling slightly to himself. He called the restaurant to make a reservation, took a shower, and found a nice shirt and tie. He considered a blazer for a moment, but he didn't actually trust Paul to not wear a Christmas sweater, and he didn't want to outdress him by too much.

He could've spared his concern; Paul was wearing a suit when Ted went to pick him up. Sure, it was his work suit, but it was a nice suit, and honestly, Paul looked good in it, so Ted didn't mind. And he kissed him when he got in the car. "You changed," Paul said.

"So did you." Ted smiled at him and started the car. "Thanks. I can live with the sweaters at work and when we're home, but I'd rather take you on a date shirtless than in one of those."

Paul laughed. "You just want me to take my shirt off."

"Sue me." Ted took his eyes off the road for a moment to grin. "I can wait 'til we're in private though."

"Good." Paul put his hand on Ted's thigh for a moment, and Ted, being Ted, suppressed a small gasp. Not well enough, because he heard Paul laugh.

The date was… Fine. It was only fine, though, which Ted didn't like, but then it occurred to him that Paul was always kind of stiff in public, and he himself couldn't be vulnerable with an audience, and a date at a restaurant wasn't the best move, especially since Ted was driving and couldn't have more than a glass of wine, so Paul didn't have any more either. It was fine though, and Paul held his hand when they walked back to the car, which was kind of nice.

"Do you want me to drop you off at home?" Ted asked once they were in the car.

"No, your bed is nicer for two people." Paul put a hand on Ted's leg again, and this time, Ted could feel the intent in the motion, which made it easier not to react. "If you don't mind me being there."

"I don't." Ted smiled. "In fact I prefer you in my bed than anywhere else." He could almost feel Paul flush, but didn't look; he preferred the look his imagination supplied.

It wasn't a long drive to Ted's, and Paul's hand stayed on his leg, equal parts exciting and distracting.

Ted didn't waste time letting Paul know once he'd killed the engine. He pulled him into a kiss before they even got out of the car. "You're very distracting like that babe," he murmured, mostly against Paul's lips.

Paul smiled and freed himself. "Private," he reminded, the smile on his face teasing a little. "Come on." He got out of the car, taking Ted's hand as they walked towards the building.

Ted reminded himself, again, that Paul was supposed to be more than sex, and chose, again, to push the thought aside in favour of picking Paul up and carrying him to bed, not quite as smoothly as he could pull the same trick with smaller people, but smoothly enough that Paul just laughed.

It wasn’t like it was the first time Ted had woken up next to Paul, but it still made him smile. Paul was still asleep, so Ted just kissed his forehead very softly and stayed in bed, watching him. He liked this, he decided, even if he hated to admit it. No, okay; he hated to admit that he liked Paul. But he was in bed with him and he really, really liked him.

Paul blinked awake some ten minutes later; Ted couldn’t be certain. There was a sleepy smile on his face and  _ fuck _ that was cute. “Hey.”   
“Goodmorning.” Ted kissed him. “How did you sleep?”   
“Fine.” Paul was still smiling. “How about you?”   
“Great.” Ted was pretty sure the smile on his own face was as dumb and smitten as Paul’s, but given how adorable he found Paul’s in that moment, he was okay with that.

Paul turned and nestled into Ted's chest. "I'm still tired though."

"Yeah?" Ted wrapped both arms around Paul and  _ fuck  _ who gave him permission to be this adorable? "You can sleep a little longer, I don't mind. I don't even know what time it is."

Paul hummed in reply and slid one arm around Ted, hand splayed flat on the small of his back. Ted ignored this and closed his eyes, listening to Paul's even breathing until he, too, dozed off.

They woke up in the late AMs and had breakfast together, sitting on the couch, and Ted desperately wanted to hate how cute they were both being, but if he was being honest with himself, he was having a good time. And it looked like Paul was having a good time too.

"When are you going home?" Ted asked when they'd cleared away breakfast and were back on the couch. "In other words, how long do I have you?"

Paul shrugged. "I haven't decided yet. I don't have plans, but I'm going home to sleep, just so that I can wear clean clothes to work tomorrow." He smiled. "But I'll stay a while."

"Good." Ted leaned his head against Paul's shoulder and tried — and failed — not to be too thrilled when Paul put an arm around him. It was a completely logical thing to do. "Hey, we need to talk."

"What about?" Paul stiffened slightly, but he pulled Ted closer. "We talked the other day."

"I know, but just a little more. I just… I enjoy spending time with you, also when we're not fucking." Ted rolled his eyes. "I'm not taking you to a restaurant or anything again, that was fucking awkward, but—"

"Ted." Paul looked at him. "Shut up." He pulled him in for a kiss, and broke it far too quickly. "I know."

Ted smiled. "Good." He kissed Paul again. "Hey, since you made me watch the fish fucker movie  _ and  _ made me pay attention, I'm making you watch a Disney film with me, I know it's 'basically a musical' or whatever, but I'm making you." He grinned. "But if you feel like trying to distract yourself, I will humour you."

"Ted, no." Paul shook his head. "There are easier ways to get me to make out with you."

"I know." Ted kissed him again. "It's actually because I have this one fucking song stuck in my head and it's a good movie, but fine." Another kiss. "Any other bright ideas as to what we could do?"

"We can watch something, I'll even let you choose, just… Not a musical." Paul pulled Ted a little closer. "Literally anything else."

Ted sighed. "Fine." He reached for the remote. "Let's see what Netflix has." He surfed around for a while and ended up putting on a mindless romcom that definitely looked like it was good to make out to, before settling into the couch with Paul leaned against his chest.

As it turned out, the movie was a lot better than expected according to both of them, and making out actually took a backseat to watching it, but that was okay, because it was a good movie and Ted liked to know that he was actually capable of not being relentlessly sexual.

Paul stretched up to kiss him, landing on his jaw, when the movie was done. “That was pretty good.”

“Yeah, it was.” Ted turned his head to kiss him properly. “A shame, it was supposed to be background to making out.”

“I’m glad it wasn’t.” Paul sat up, away from Ted, and smiled. “I like just hanging out.”   
“Me too.” Ted leaned forward to kiss him again. “Don’t mind  _ making _ out either.”   
Paul scoffed and shook his head, but he didn’t say anything else, and he let Ted slide into his lap and kiss him, so it was fine.


	9. Chapter 9

Paul went home after dinner, and Ted hated going to bed alone, but Paul texted him goodnight and that kind of made him smile anyway.

The next week was the last of work before Paul went away with his family for the holidays, and somehow, they had no time. Sure, they had lunch together and had quick exchanges at work now that everyone knew they were dating — or well, actually no one had known until Ted had leaned down to kiss Paul on the cheek when he came over to ask him something professional and Bill had almost choked on his coffee — but they didn’t see each other outside of work, and it kind of sucked.

They managed an hour Friday, while Paul packed his things before going to meet with his parents. “I’m gonna miss you,” he said when he was saying goodbye in the parking lot.

Ted laughed. “I’m gonna miss you too, babe.” He pulled Paul in for a kiss. “I’m alone for Christmas, so you can call if you want. Or text. Or not.” He shrugged. “Whatever.”   
“I’ll call.” Paul smiled. “You too. I know I’ll be with family, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take a call. Lord knows my mother won’t shut up if she finds out I’m seeing someone, but at least it’s better than  _ you’re 30 now Paul, you should think about settling down _ .” Paul rolled his eyes, which calmed the moment of panic Ted had had at the  _ settling down _ bit. “She just wants grandkids, as though Andrea isn’t engaged and will probably have kids within the year. I’m just not there yet.”   
“Good.” Ted pulled him in for another kiss. “Because I’m not even at the point where I’m thinking about whether I’m there or not.”   
“I’m not surprised.” Paul laughed, took a step back and took Ted’s hand. “I need to go now, but I’ll talk to you later, alright?”   
“Alright.” Ted smiled and squeezed Paul’s hand. “Have fun in… Wherever the fuck you’re going.”   
“Arizona, we’re visiting Andrea.”

“Paul, I don’t care.” Ted leaned over and gave him one more kiss. “Take care.”   
“I will. You too. I’ll see you at New Year’s.”   
“Yeah, see you.” Paul got into his own car, and Ted walked over to his to drive home.

The holidays sucked every year, but that year sucked more. Ted told himself it was just because he was getting to the age where he didn’t have single friends to hang out with anymore, but he was fully aware that it was probably because he also wasn’t a single friend anymore.

Someone knocked on the door in the evening on the 26th. It wasn’t super late, but late enough that Ted would expect a friend dropping by to text him in advance, so he was a little wary when he opened the door.

It was Charlotte. “Hi.” Ted said, blinking a few times. “I thought you moved away.”   
“Yeah, hi, uhh…” She smiled. “I’m visiting my parents for the holidays, and I was out for a walk and walked past your building and figured I’d stop by.”   
“Sure.” Ted stepped aside and let her in. “How have you been? How’s Sam? How’s… Utah, was it?” He wasn’t opposed to hanging out with Charlotte for a bit, he decided, if nothing else because he was bored to tears of being alone and watching musical movies with Paul not around.

“He’s… Fine.” Charlotte gave him a quick hug. “Utah’s nice. It’s warmer than here. How’s Hatchetfield.”   
“Not as fun without you.” He shouldn’t be flirting, but he decided that they were good enough friends that this wasn’t flirting. “No, it’s fine. The same, you know how it is. Work is the same, no one’s replaced you yet. Bill is still driving me crazy.”   
“Not Paul?”   
“No, not Paul.” They were still standing in the hallway, and Ted should’ve known that was a bad idea. “He’s actually—”

Charlotte interrupted him by pulling him into a kiss. Ted let it go on for longer than he should, but he didn’t kiss her back, and he freed himself from her. “I—”   
“Charlotte, don’t.” Ted stepped back. “We can be friends, but this? No.”

“Why not? Ted, I— I’ve missed you.” She stepped closer, and Ted stepped away.

“And I missed you too, at first. And then I moved on. And as I was about to tell you, Paul and I are seeing each other, and I actually don’t wanna cheat on him, so we’re not doing this.” He gestured to the door. “You can leave now.”   
“But—”   
“No buts. I’m sorry Charlotte, you left me, you don’t get to make demands. Bye, enjoy the rest of the holidays.” Ted opened the door for her.

“Bye Ted.” Charlotte didn’t smile as she left.

Ted called Paul when she was gone, just to chat and say goodnight, but didn’t tell him about Charlotte’s visit. Maybe he should, but it was just a kiss, he decided, and he hadn’t even kissed her back and he’d sent her away. It meant jack shit.

It still kept him awake too long after hanging up.

Paul came back to Hatchetfield for New Year's, and was, like Ted, invited to Melissa's place for a party. Ted had gone for the past two years, and Paul usually turned the invitation down, but Ted convinced him to come with him that year.

They drove together, in Paul's car, because he said he'd prefer to stay sober anyway. Ted called him boring, but he was also kind of glad to have a ride, so he didn't say much.

Rose's first words when they arrived were, "Oh, it's you two!" She smiled.

"It's us two," Ted confirmed. "Hi Rose. Cassie." He greeted Rose's partner with a wave.

"Hi." Paul smiled politely at both of them. "Where's Melissa?"

"She's… Somewhere." Rose waved her hand. "She dragged Christina off about half an hour ago, you two are late, most people got drunk before dinner."

"Yeah, well, this guy didn't wanna go." Ted elbowed Paul lightly in the side. "But we're here. Anyone else I know?"

"Rory and Leo are here, and Marian. No one else." Rose led them inside. "Well, Melissa and Christina of course."

"They went off to fuck." It was Rory, one of Melissa's friends, who had walked over. "Hi Ted." He smiled.

"Hi Rory. Oh, uhh, this is my boyfriend, Paul." Ted gestured to Paul; he had potentially hooked up with Rory a few times in the past, and was better off curbing that instinct immediately.

"Oh." Rory turned his attention to Paul. "Hi there. I'm Rory."

"Hi." Paul smiled, and it was tight-lipped and awkward, but he loosened up a fraction when Ted took his hand to introduce him to everyone else. He kept using the word  _ boyfriend _ even though he hadn't actually planned to.

He and Paul ended up sharing a loveseat shortly after midnight, and Ted was entirely okay with that. "Hey Ted?" Paul whispered to him when there was a lull in the conversations they were participating in.

"Hmm?" Ted, already kind of tipsy, kissed his cheek. "What's up babe?"

"You introduced me as your boyfriend." Paul smiled a little. "Since when?"

"Since I realised that I needed to make sure Rory didn't try to hook up with me." Ted was still whispering, and he was fully aware that it was a terrible time to have that conversation, but he was also intoxicated and in a good mood. "We can take it back if you'd like." He probably should've told Charlotte that he had a boyfriend, he realised, but it didn't matter, because she'd left anyway.

"No, it's fine." Paul smiled and kissed him. "I like it."

"Me too." Ted pulled him in for another kiss, but there were other people in the room, so Paul didn't let him take it too far.

They left a couple hours after midnight. Paul kept his arm around Ted's waist until they got to the car, and as much as Ted hated to admit it, that was probably a good choice.

"Hey Paul?" he asked, leaning against the side of the car, still with one hand on Paul's hip. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." Paul smiled and shook his head slightly. "What's up?"

"Will you come home with me?" So Ted was probably slightly more than tipsy, but sue him, it was New Year's.

Paul laughed. "That was the plan all along Ted."

"Right." Ted kissed him. "Nice."

"Nice," Paul repeated, opening the passenger side door. "Get in the car Ted."

"Being bossy suits you," he murmured, and did as he was told.

Paul laughed slightly at his shitty attempts at flirting the entire way home, but he also stayed the night, so Ted didn't mind the laugh. He didn't mind at all.


	10. Chapter 10

January passed in a flurry of terrible work hours, bad weather, and a boyfriend smiling at Ted from two cubicles away. And guilt; about Charlotte and her Christmas visit and the damn kiss he still hadn't told Paul about. Not that it mattered, because Ted was  _ not  _ a cheater, and he hadn't cheated on Paul, and he wouldn't, and so what if his shitty ex hadn't gotten the memo? Paul would just be needlessly upset, and Ted would feel bad, and then they'd fight, and he didn't want that.

February was a terrible month, in Ted's opinion, but in particular the 17th, and not just because it fell on a Monday. He stayed home from work, because he knew full well that he was gonna be no use.

Perhaps staying home on a random Monday would've gone unnoticed by his colleagues a few months back, but Paul called him. "Hey babe." Ted wasn't in the mood to talk, but he kind of appreciated the gesture. "What's up?"

"You're not at work," Paul said. "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm…" Ted sighed. "No, it's a bad day. Sorry I didn't warn you, but I just don't wanna talk about it."

"It's alright." Paul's voice was soft and Ted almost wanted to ask him a favour. "Do you want me to come by?" He didn't have to.

"Uhh, yeah, I do." Ted smiled a little. "Yeah, that might be nice. I'm gonna try to sleep most of the day, just let yourself in whenever."

"Okay. See you then, Ted. Take care of yourself."

"I will. Thanks Paul." Ted hung up and decided to do what he told Paul he would and sleep.

He was woken up by Paul kissing his forehead. "Hey Ted."

"Hey babe." Ted blinked awake and leaned up to kiss Paul properly. "Is it that late already?"

"No, I left for lunch." Paul smiled a little. "I rushed through my reports so that I could leave early. And I brought food, if you want it."

"Not right now." Ted opened his arms. "Lay down with me, please." He didn't usually ask much, just pulled Paul to where he wanted him and asked if it was okay, but he wasn't in the mood.

Paul laid down and pulled him close. "What's wrong? Something's off with you." He planted a kiss on Ted's hair.

"Just a bad day." Ted's voice was muffled by Paul's shirt, but he did feel ever-so-slightly better with the contact. "Eleven years now and I still can't get out of bed."

"Oh." Paul pulled him closer. "Let me know if you want to talk."

"Yeah." Ted stayed quiet for a few moments. "My sister died when we were kids, it's not a fun anniversary." He didn't wanna talk about it, in general, but that wasn't terrible, and it was Paul. "I left that day."

"I'm sorry." Paul stayed quiet, and Ted suddenly remembered how god damn awkward he could be. "Can I do anything?"

"Just… Just be here. It's fine, it's a sucky day, and then I don't think about her for another year." Ted sighed. "No one ever accused me of dealing with things."

"You should." Paul had this odd habit of stiffening uncomfortably while simultaneously pulling Ted closer, and while it was weird, it was also adorable. "I mean… I don't know anything about grief or anything like that, but you should deal with it."

"Yeah." Ted pulled back just enough to kiss Paul. "You know how I deal with things."

"I know." Paul smiled slightly. "Not today though."

"Alright." Ted kissed him again. "Whatever you say babe." He didn't pull back far enough to speak without his lips brushing Paul's, and he found that he was okay with that.

"Okay." Paul smiled slightly and pressed a quick kiss to Ted's lips. "If you say you're okay, I'll believe you."

"No you won't."

"No." Paul smiled. "But I'll pretend like I do."

"Good enough for me." Ted pulled him close again and buried his face in Paul's chest. "Do I have permission to use my sadness to make you watch a musical with me?"

Paul did the odd stiffening and pulling closer thing again. "Ted, no."

"Aww." Ted pulled back enough to pout at Paul. "Pretty please? It'll make me feel better."

"No." Paul kissed him, and it was perhaps the most distracted kiss Ted had ever received, which was surprisingly nice. "I am  _ not _ watching a musical."

"Babe, please."

"No." Another kiss. "I love you, but no."

Ted stopped, musicals temporarily forgotten. "Oh."

"Oh?" Paul smiled softly. "Giving up so quickly?"

"Paul. You know me. How can you say that?" So okay, it probably wasn't that serious, but Ted was having a bad day.

"What?" Paul still looked at him with that soft smile that made Ted melt a little bit. "What did I say? I love you?"

"Yeah. That."

"Oh." Paul kisses him quickly. "Is that a problem?"

"No, it's…" It wasn't, he decided. "Just unexpected."

"Okay. Okay. I love you. Okay?"

"Okay." Ted kissed him. "Still not a good day, but okay." He smiled. "Please watch a musical with me."

Paul sighed. "Only because I love you."

"Thanks." Ted kissed him. "Give me a moment." He found his laptop and propped it up on the nightstand. "You can choose between  _ Frozen  _ and  _ Mamma Mia. _ "

Paul looked like this was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. " _ Mamma Mia, _ " he said eventually. "You're a terrible boyfriend."

"I love you too." It wasn't a lie, necessarily, but it was absolutely calculated, and Ted felt a little bit bad about it for a moment.

Then he settled in Paul's arms and turned his attention to  _ Mamma Mia _ and sure, young Amanda Seyfried looked too much like his sister Abi, but at least he had Paul, trying to distract himself by trailing kisses down Ted's neck, and while he ignored it in favour of watching the movie, he enjoyed it.

Paul made him get up for long enough to eat after the movie. He didn’t want to and tried to protest, but Paul was insistent in that soft way he had, and Ted gave in. Then he went back to bed and ignored the universe and his own brain in favour of kissing his boyfriend.


	11. Chapter 11

Paul stayed the night and drove him to work the next morning. Then he drove him home too, and stayed, and Ted appreciated it. He was fine once the day was over, but he liked the attention, even though now that he wasn’t thinking about Abi, telling Paul that he loved him made him think of Charlotte.

“Paul?” They were on Ted’s couch, having coffee. “There is uhh… Something we need to talk about, I guess.”   
“What’s up?” Paul smiled slightly, and Ted felt even worse. “You alright?”   
“Yeah, I uhh…” Ted didn’t look at Paul. “Charlotte was in town over Christmas, she came to see me. I didn’t think about it, we were pretty good friends you know, but we were also… Dating? Together? — for a really long time, all things considered, and I loved her I think. It doesn’t matter, she came by, she kissed me, I sent her home, but I should’ve told you and I didn’t and—”   
“Ted.” Paul took his hand. “It was just a kiss. And you didn’t do anything, she was the one who kissed you. I love you, and I get that you have some… Complicated exes, shall we say?” He chuckled a little. “It’s fine, I know what you’re like. And you’re not a cheater.”

“I know.” Ted leaned against Paul’s side. “I’m not, I just… Yeah. I should have told you, so sorry.”   
“It’s fine. I love you.” Paul kissed Ted’s hair.

“I love you too.” He reached up to give Paul a kiss. “Yeah, that’s all, I just wanted to tell you.”

“I’m glad you did.” Paul stayed silent for a few moments. “Hey, I know we don’t really do dates in public, but there’s a new film out that I really wanna watch, will you come with me?”

Ted sighed. “Sure.” He regretted his words immediately. “Wait, what kind of film is it? Horror?”   
“No, don’t worry, not horror, not exactly.”   
“I don’t trust  _ not exactly _ .”

“I watched a musical with you yesterday.” Paul kissed him. “You owe me this much.”   
“Fine.” Ted wasn’t as against going out as he pretended to be, so he wasn’t about to push it. And Paul was kind of right, he owed him.

They decided to save the movie for the following day and just hang out at Ted’s instead. And sure, Paul went home to sleep, and sure, it kind sucked a little bit because Ted liked having him in his bed, but at least he didn’t feel bad about anything anymore.

Winter became spring and Ted was… Alright. He was fine. Paul was still lovely, and while the novelty of the relationship wore off, the relationship didn’t. Largely thanks to Paul, Ted suspected, who remembered their anniversary every month (“It’s on the 1st Ted, it’s not that hard”) and made Ted eat lunch with him every day at work. Ted, for his part, just kind of learned what it meant to be in a relationship without sex. Not that they didn’t fuck, but it was less of a thing he went for, and more of a thing that just happened at times.

It wasn’t that Ted forgot that Paul’s birthday was in mid-April, it was more that he didn’t really think about it, until Paul reminded him. “Hey Ted?” They were at work, having lunch.

“What’s up?”   
“My parents are coming over on Saturday, and they wanted me to invite you."

"Oh. Why?" Ted took Paul's impassive face to mean he should know. "Oh fuck, yeah, sorry. Yeah, I'd love to."

"You forgot," Paul accused. "You forgot my birthday."

"I did not, it's April 18th. I just forgot what today is." Ted smiled. "I'll be there, I promise." That gave him two days to find a present, which shouldn't be too hard.

It was too hard, Ted concluded that day after work, when he'd driven to Lakeside to find something. Except he had absolutely no idea of what to actually give Paul, and as he was walking around the mall, he realised just how  _ boring  _ his boyfriend actually was. Boring and ordinary and absolutely adorable.

He ended up getting a book about some film technique or other that he remembered Paul talking about (because he was a good boyfriend who paid attention) and decided that that had to be good enough.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Birthday boy

Paul asked him to come over Saturday morning, even though his parents were only coming for lunch. Ted didn't mind getting up early for him, so he drove over before eating breakfast. "Hey babe." Ted smiled when Paul opened the door.

"Hi Ted." Paul kissed him, a flutter of nervous energy. "Thanks for coming."

"Of course." Ted stepped inside. "What's up? You seem nervous."

"Oh, so um…" Paul went to the couch and sat down, Ted following. "So I told my parents that my— My partner would be here today."

"Uh huh." Ted nodded and wrapped an arm around Paul's waist.

"I'm not out to my parents."

"Ah." Ted leaned into him slightly. "Do you have a plan for how?"

"No." Paul's arm landed around Ted's shoulders. "I figured I'd just… Kind of wing it. If I just introduce you as my boyfriend that's a start, right?"

"It is," Ted agreed. "But you might wanna… I don't know, come out with me not in the room."

"No, I want you there. My mom can be… Intense." He smiled.

"Alright." Ted kissed him. "You need to relax. That's not a shitty line, that's actual concern, but we both know what my definition of relaxing is."

"Yeah." Paul grinned. "I love you, but this isn't the moment."

"I love you too, and I know. But you need to relax, even if it's just by watching a movie." Ted smiled and kissed him again. "When will you parents be here?"

"Few hours."

"Alright." Ted let go of Paul and stood up, walking to his shelf of DVDs. "We're watching a movie. I'm not watching  _ Amélie  _ again, let's see… No, no, no… This one." He picked out a DVD. "We watched this back in November, when we dated for a weekend. Remember?" He handed it to Paul.

Paul smiled a little. "You kept trying to kiss me instead of watching."

"And I fully plan on doing it again." Ted grinned and took the DVD from Paul, turning back to the TV. "Will I get luckier with it this time?"

"Probably." Paul wrapped his arms around Ted as soon as he sat back down. "I need the distraction as much as you."

Paul stayed true to his word and made out with Ted more than he watched the movie, even going as far as to get their shirts off, even if he patently refused to fuck on the couch, on account of his parents being on their way, and Ted didn't mind.

By the time Mr and Mrs Matthews showed up, Paul and Ted had put their shirts back on and had fixed their hair, admittedly with some smiling.

"Hi Paul." His mother walked in without knocking, and Ted immediately dropped Paul's hand, which he'd been holding.

Paul took Ted's hand again and pulled him to the hallway. "Hi mom." He let go of Ted to give her a hug. "Hi dad." He gave his dad a hug too.

"Hi Paul." His father, an absolute mountain of a man, ruffled Paul's hair a little and smiled. "How are you doing? Where's your girlfriend?"

Paul's smile stiffened ever-so-slightly. "About that…" He gestured to Ted standing a step behind him. "This is… This is my boyfriend, Ted."

"Hi, lovely to meet you." Ted smiled and turned up the charm; this, he could do. He stepped forward and held out his hand. "I'm Ted."

"Oh." Mrs Matthews shook his hand, still looking confused. "I'm Leah."

"Good to meet you." Ted kept the smile and turned to Mr Matthews. "And you must be Paul's father?"

"Uh, yeah." Mr Matthews shook his hand. "Finn. Good to see you."

"You too." Ted stepped back next to Paul.

"Um, come on in." Paul began walking back to the living room, taking Ted's hand as he went. "We've got lunch ready."

Ted followed him, the Mathews' a few steps behind. "That wasn't terrible," Ted whispered.

"They hate you," Paul whispered back. "I mean, they don't, but they hate this. Just… Keep being your charming self." There was a fair bit of sarcasm in Paul's voice, but Ted could recognise a coping mechanism from a mile away.

"Always am babe."

Paul kissed him, and not quite as quickly as they usually did when people were watching, but Ted supposed it was for his parents' benefit.

Lunch was an overall awkward experience. Ted tried his best to keep the conversation going and casual, but Paul's parents insisted on asking what Ted considered rude questions. Sure, asking how long they'd been together (four months, give or take; Ted didn't realise just how long until Paul said it) was fine, and asking if Ted lived there ("lord no, I just arrived a little early") made sense to some extent, but there was a fair bit of passive-aggressive asking about children.

Ted received a text while Paul was in the bathroom; from Paul.  _ Can you shut them up about children?  _ Ted didn't reply, but he knew what he was going to do.

"So," Mrs Matthews said when Paul returned. "I have a question for you two. Did neither of you even think about children?"

"Of course we did," Ted replied evenly. He took Paul's hand, selling it. "And while we consider adoption a great way of having kids, we've decided that we don't want them, as I'm sure you understand."

"I—" Mrs Matthews looked at her husband, suddenly flustered.

"Ted is right." Paul leaned forward. "And frankly, mom, there is no reason for you to be asking these questions." He leaned into Ted's side instead. "I love you," he whispered, loud enough for his parents to hear.

"I love you too." Ted matched his volume, then leaned over to kiss him. He was watching Mr Matthews out of the corner of his eye; he blatantly turned away.

"So, Leah." Mr Matthews looked at his wife. "Should we head home?"

"Yes, I think it's time." She stood up abruptly. "It was good seeing you, Paul."

"You too." Paul walked them out, and Ted could hear him say goodbye. Then he came back to the living room and sat next to Ted. "That was awful."

"I'm sorry." Ted wrapped his arms around him. "Hey, I never got around to giving you your present."

"I didn't think you got me anything."

"Of course I did." Ted packed as much offense into the sentence as he could, then went to get the present from his bag. "Here." He handed it to Paul.

"Oh," he said once it was unwrapped. "Thank you."

"I remember you talking about the sound editing in a lot of movies we've watched, so I figured you might find it interesting." Ted kissed his temple.

"I've been wanting this book since it came out and never wanting to spend money on it." Paul pulled Ted into a tight hug. "Thank you."

"Of course." Ted was pretty pleased with himself for getting it that right. "Of course."

"Can you stay the night? I know it's still early but—"

"Paul." Ted smiled. "When do I ever not want to stay the night?"

"Yeah." Paul pulled him close. "Come on, I wanna watch a movie with you."

They watched movies all afternoon and evening, and Ted didn't even complain when Paul put on a horror movie, although he did insist on spending those 90 minutes in Paul's lap rather than next to him on the couch.


	13. Chapter 13

The day after Paul's birthday was a Sunday, and Ted had stayed over, so they decided to sleep in and take it slow. Ted woke up first to find Paul curled up half on top of him. He smiled a little and left him be. It was nice to see Paul automatically seeking out contact; he had gotten mostly used to it, but there was still some slightly smug part of him that liked being the only one Paul did it to.

Paul woke up not long after. "Hey." He smiled and moved to lay properly on top of Ted. "How did you sleep?"

"Pretty well." Ted kissed him. "Good morning babe. How about you?"

"Good." Paul rested his head against Ted's shoulder. "Hey, I thought of something yesterday, and you're not gonna like it."

"Okay?" Ted normally had a pretty good idea of where Paul was going with things, but he was utterly clueless.

"My parents asked if we lived together, and it occurred to me… I love you, and I enjoy this, sleeping together, and—"

"Paul." Ted kissed him to shut him up. "No. I love you too, but no."

"Oh." Paul looked mildly put off. "Why not?"

"Because I'm not there yet. Because it's been four months. Because yes, I'm 28 and it's time, but I really don't want a serious relationship, and I'm fine with this because I do love you, but if we can keep it reasonably casual for a while longer, I prefer that. Just… This is already the longest and most serious relationship I've had, not counting Charlotte, and I don't want to screw it up, but I will."

"You won't." Paul smiled, and it was soft and sweet and perfect. "I won't let you."

"If only." Ted put a hand on Paul's cheek and it was soft and sweet and less than perfect. "I don't wanna talk about it, Paul."

"Okay." Paul put his head down on Ted's shoulder again. "I just… Yeah. Wanted to mention that, if you want…"

"Thanks." Ted hugged Paul tightly for a moment. "I appreciate that you think about it."

"Hmm." Paul pressed a kiss to Ted's collarbone. "I love you." Another kiss.

"I love you too." Ted, who knew what this kind of behaviour from Paul meant, was content to enjoy the attention for a little, until he eventually got impatient and let his hands get busy.

Ted didn't travel much, but Paul asked him to come with him over the summer and well, a week alone with his boyfriend didn't sound half bad, so Ted said yes before asking where they were going.

He regretted that. "Portland," Paul said.

"No," Ted replied.

"Why not?" They were sitting on Paul's couch, and Paul put an arm around Ted.

"I grew up in Portland. We're not going anywhere near there, I don't even wanna go to Oregon." Ted leaned into Paul. "I'm not going back there, fuck no. Anywhere else, or you can go alone."

"Ted… Was your upbringing really that bad?" Paul stiffened and pulled Ted closer, and his voice was equal parts caution and concern.

"Worse," Ted replied, wrapping an arm around Paul's waist and pulling himself into his lap. "A lot worse."

"Tell me." Paul kissed his temple. "What was so bad?"

"Everything." Ted leaned in and took a deep breath, trying to decide how much he was going to say. "To cut a long story short, my parents were bad and my sister died. So."

"Oh." Paul pulled him closer. "I'm sorry to hear that, I didn't know."

"No one does." Ted leaned his head on Paul's shoulder. "I don't talk about it. But I'm not going back to Portland. It's a nice city, I'm sure, but the sheer idea makes me sick."

"I'm sorry." Paul pulled him close. "I don't know what to say, but—"

"Don't." Ted turned his head to kiss him. "Don't, just let me do this."

Paul nodded. "Okay." He put a hand up to hold Ted's face. "I love you."

"I love you too." Ted leaned in for another kiss. "Can we shut up now?"

Paul laughed. "Sure." He pulled Ted in for another kiss, and this one wasn't quick.

They fucked on the couch, even though Paul normally hated it, and Ted knew he shouldn't take advantage of having a little more leeway when he was upset, but he did. It didn't matter. He wasn't pushing boundaries, just not being courteous.

Ted stayed on the couch when they were done, pinning Paul down and kissing him.

Paul turned his head away, laughing slightly. "Slow down, babe." He smiled and put a hand on Ted's cheek. "Just breathe."

"I don't want to," Ted replied, but he smiled and stopped trying to kiss him. "I want to have my brains fucked out."

"Just give me a break." Paul had this particular breathy way of laughing at times that always made Ted melt just a bit. "Also, you're distracting yourself."

"Yes," Ted agreed. "The question is if you'll let me."

"Hmm." Paul kissed his neck, and Ted did absolutely nothing to conceal how he felt about that. "Maybe." He pushed Ted off of him, which resulted in Ted being on the floor. "Not on the couch though."

"On the floor?" Ted asked, grinning, making no move to get up.

"I really don't know why I put up with you." Paul sat up and looked at him.

"Because you love me?"

"Probably." Paul stood up. "You coming?"

Ted sighed, but got up and followed Paul to the bedroom. "I hope you don't plan on making me take a nap."

"No, I was gonna make you talk." Paul pulled Ted into a hug, standing in the middle of the room, neither of them dressed. "I love you, and you need to deal with things."

"I love you too." Ted pulled Paul closer. "This is how I deal."

"Ted…" Paul stepped back, leaving one hand on Ted's shoulder. For a naked man, he managed to look genuinely serious. "This isn't dealing." He gestured to the space between them. "This is a distraction. It's sex. Sure, it's nice, and sure, we have sex anyway, but it's not dealing."

"I know." Ted stepped closer to Paul, putting his hands on his hips. "Just… I know it's not dealing, just, I don't know what else to do." He kissed him. "Please?"

Paul sighed. "Come on." He stepped away from Ted and sat on the bed, gesturing for him to join. "I know you use sex to cope and that's fine, I'm happy to play along, but I also care about you and I want you to be happy."

"I am happy." Ted sat next to him and took his hand. "I have… Issues, sure, but I am happy. As long as I don't think too much about anything that happened before age 18."

"No one springs into life at 18." Paul smiled slightly. "Okay. You get to distract yourself for today, but you need to talk about it eventually."

"Sure." Ted leaned in and kissed Paul's neck. "Eventually." Another kiss. He was lying, but Paul was easy to lie to and even easier to distract.


	14. Chapter 14

Paul didn't change his vacation destination, so Ted didn't go with him. And yeah, it sucked to go to work for a full week with Paul not there, but he got sent shitty selfies that only showed Paul's face and nothing about where he was, which Ted appreciated, and Paul called him every night to chat and say goodnight.

Ted drove out to pick up Paul from the airport, and tried to pretend like the nearly two-hour drive wasn't a big deal when Paul said he could take a bus.

"Hey." Paul smiled when he saw Ted waiting for him in the lobby. "You didn't have to drive all the way out here."

"I know." Ted pulled Paul into a hug. "It's not a big deal, especially not on a Saturday, I wanted to."

"I know." Paul pulled back and kissed him. "Come on, let's go."

"Let's go." Ted took Paul's suitcase as they walked out and just sent a smile when he tried to protest. He drove all the way back to Hatchetfield too, Paul's hand in his. They didn't really talk in the car; Paul dozed off, and Ted was happy to just drive.

"I missed you," Paul said when they got inside at his apartment. "It was a long week."

Ted laughed. "And you were on vacation. Imagine what it was like for me at work."

"I know." Paul gave him a hug and a kiss. "Stay the night?"

"Of course." Ted laughed and wrapped his arms around Paul. "It's only what, three in the afternoon. Did you eat lunch, by the way?" He decided that Paul being gone wasn't so bad if this was what he got when he returned.

"Not yet, but I had breakfast quite late." Paul smiled. "But we can eat if you want."

"No, it's fine." Ted laughed and backed Paul against the wall, still in the hallway. He leaned in to kiss him, keeping him pinned against the wall, and could feel Paul's hand in his hair. "I missed you," he murmured against Paul's lips.

"I missed you too." Paul pulled him in for another kiss, not that he ever went far. "I love you."

"I love you too." Ted remembered, not for the first time, how hard that had been to say in the beginning, and how easy it was now. So because he could, he picked up Paul and carried him to bed, laughing slightly between kisses as Paul pulled his tie off and dropped it on the floor halfway through the living room.

The rest of the summer passed easily enough, between work and friends and Paul, always Paul, in the passenger seat of his car, kissing him good morning when they arrived at the office, sometimes sleeping in his bed and waking him up with soft kisses as sunlight filtered through the window and crawled over the duvet. Ted wanted to be annoyed with how romantic the back of his head was becoming, but then Paul would do something stupidly endearing, and Ted remembered why he was even in a serious relationship.

Serious relationship. He still didn't like that, but he was getting there. "Hey Paul?" he asked one Sunday morning in September, both of them tangled up in sheets and in each other.

"Hmm?" Paul opened one eye. "What's up?"

"Remember your parents asking if we lived together, back in April?"

"Yeah. I remember you saying you didn't want that."

"I don't," Ted said, because he didn't. "I'm just saying, maybe I don't hate it anymore either."

"Okay." Paul put a hand on his cheek. "Ted, we've been together for almost nine months."

"Correct." Ted quickly did the math in his head. "More like eight and a half, but yeah."

"It doesn't matter. A long time for both of us."

Ted nodded; even Charlotte, which had been his longest relationship if you could even call it that, had only been six months.

"So… If you want…" Paul smiled, and it was dumb and smitten and endearing. "Move in with me?"

Ted laughed and kissed him. "Maybe." He smiled. "I kind of brought it up on impulse, so we'll see what happens when I've had coffee."

Paul laughed at that. "I'm always waiting to figure out what happens after you've had coffee."

"Rude," Ted murmured, then kissed him. "Come on, let's get it going." He got out of bed and gestured for Paul to follow him so that they could have breakfast together.

"So," Paul said over the edge of his coffee mug. "You've had coffee. What's the verdict?"

Ted shook his head. "No, but for different reasons." He smiled, wondering how he'd explain to his not-at-all-commitment-phobic boyfriend what his reasoning was. "I just… I love you, and I'm okay with this being a serious relationship, and I'm not scared of thinking there's a future with us."

"But?"

"But I don't want to live together." Ted shrugged. "I could— Right, I'll say it, I could be happy spending my life with you, Paul, but I don't want to live with you. Because I like what it is right now."

"Okay." Paul nodded. "Okay. Okay."

"That's not what you want, is it?"

"It doesn't matter what I want." Paul sounded almost resigned, and Ted hated it.

"I think it does." He reached to take Paul's hand. "And I wanna hear about it. What do you want, Paul?"

"I want…" Paul shrugged. "I don't know. You. To come home with you. To fall asleep with you and wake up with you. To not miss you."

"Right." Ted squeezed Paul's hand for a moment. "Am I gonna sound insane if I say I enjoy missing you?"

"Yes." Paul laughed, and it was soft and sweet and Ted loved him with an intensity he couldn't recall feeling earlier. "Completely insane. But that's alright."

"Fuck it." Ted got up so that he could kneel next to Paul's chair. He took both of Paul's hands. "I love you."

"I love you too." Paul raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing Ted?"

"Making a decision." Ted looked up at Paul.

"No you're not." Paul got off his chair and knelt down in front of Ted. "You're making a  _ rash _ decision."

"Yes, but—"

"No." Paul shook his head. "You said no."

"You said yes."

"Doesn't matter." Paul's smile was soft and a little bit forced. "Remember back when we first started going out? Before we broke up, before any of that, you told me that I shouldn't do anything I didn't want to do. That applies to you too, Ted. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.”

“I know.” Ted let go of Paul’s hands, only to pull him into a hug, sitting on the kitchen floor. “I know.” He didn’t have anything better to say.

They sat on the kitchen floor for a while, holding each other, and Ted found that he didn’t want to let go. “Ted?” Paul didn’t pull away from the hug, but he did, eventually, speak.

“Hmm?”   
“Are you alright?”   
“I’m fine.” It felt like a lie. “I just… Want to stay here for a while.”   
“No, Ted… No. Sorry.” Paul pulled away and got up. “The floor is uncomfortable, come on.” He held out a hand.   
Ted took it and pulled Paul to the couch in the living room, immediately resuming the hug. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” Paul didn’t pull away, in fact he pulled Ted closer, but he stiffened up. “I love you. Talk to me.”

“I love you too.” Ted didn’t want to talk. “That’s all.”

“You’re lying.” But Paul didn’t push it, and just held Ted for another hour or so, in complete silence.


	15. Chapter 15

Ted didn’t move in with Paul. He kept saying that he didn’t care either way, and Paul kept saying that he shouldn’t do it just for his sake, and the stalemate meant that they lived apart, even if they stayed at each others’ apartments most days, and even if Ted hated the days he woke up alone and didn’t hesitate to let Paul know. It still didn’t matter.

They’d been together for exactly eleven months. It was December 1st, and Paul was wearing his dumbass Christmas sweater and Ted hated it and found it endearing, all at once. He didn’t hesitate to let Paul know. “It’s ugly.”   
“You can’t say that today.” They were having breakfast together before work. “It’s our anniversary.”   
“I know, I know. But that doesn’t change the fact that your sweater is ugly.” Ted rolled his eyes. “I love you, but that’s an ugly fucking sweater."

"I love you too."

"Sure." Ted smiled. "Move in with me." It was an impulsive thing to say, but he didn't regret saying it.

"Ted…"

"It's been eleven months. I love you. I want this, I want breakfast before work and coming home together, I want a life. With you."

"I want a life with you too." Paul smiled. "We're late for work, but we should talk about this later, okay?"

"Okay." Ted smiled and got up to give him a kiss. "Okay."

"Okay."

They left for work and didn't talk in the car, but they did hold hands even as Ted drove.

Paul pulled Ted in for a kiss as soon as they came through the door to Ted's apartment. Just a quick one, barely more than a peck, and a soft smile to accompany it. "Did you mean it?" he asked.

"Mean what?"

"This morning, when you asked me to move in with you, did you mean it?"

"Oh, I meant it alright." Ted smiled and kissed Paul. "I meant every word of it."

"Good." Paul almost grinned. "Because it won't be right now, but the answer's yes."

Ted kissed him. "Good." He stepped back. "Here though. This place is bigger, and my bed is nicer."

"We can move your bed." Paul rolled his eyes. "But yeah, here. I always thought it would be here." The proverbial lightbulb went off over his head. "Wanna spend Christmas at mine, though?"

"Paul… No." Ted shook his head. "I don't celebrate the holidays. Or my birthday. Or uhh, anything. So no."

"We don't have to celebrate." Paul shrugged. "I just figured, we'll both be off for a few days, might as well spend that time together. Plus, if I tell my parents you'll be there, they won't ask me to come with them to Andrea's, and like, I love my sister, but I could do without the whole… Carolling… Children… Thinly veiled homophobia…"

"Fair enough." Ted smiled. "Yes Paul, I would love to come stay with you for a few days in late December."

Paul rolled his eyes, but smiled. "I'm glad." He walked past Ted towards the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"This is still my apartment!" Ted laughed and followed him. "But yeah."

"It'll always be your apartment, Ted." Paul started the coffee machine, as familiar with Ted's as he was his own. "I'll just live here."

"Yeah." Ted wrapped his arms around him from behind. "When?"

"Few months, probably." Paul smiled. "Gotta find a good date to move, give up my lease on the old place, you gotta figure out if your lease allows for another person…"

"Babe, I own this." Ted kissed his cheek. "The apartment, mind you, not the building, but I bought this. I can let you move in literally any time I want."

"Oh." Paul smiled. "All the more reason to live here then, don't gotta sell it."

"Exactly." Ted let go as the coffee machine finished and let Paul pour for both of them. Then he went and got creamer for his own coffee. "Come on, let's watch something."

"Good idea."

They sat on the couch and watched movies and drank coffee, as they often did, and Ted was okay with a normal day.

Christmas sucked less that year. And maybe it was because the only indication that it  _ was  _ Christmas was Paul's clothing choices, but Ted thought it might just also because they decided against celebrating; three days with just him and Paul in Paul's apartment.

Paul woke him up Christmas morning. "Good morning babe."

"Morning." Ted smiled. "Wait, why are you already dressed?"

"I made breakfast." Paul sat on the edge of the bed. "I don't know your birthday, and I know you're not going to tell me, and since we're not celebrating Christmas anyway…"

"Thanks." Ted sat up. "I love you."

"Love you too." Paul kissed him. "Come on." He got up.

Ted groaned and got up as well, grabbing a random pair of trousers — Paul's, he realised when they didn't quite fit, but it was fine — to put on before making his way to Paul's kitchen. He'd made pancakes, with honey even though Ted knew Paul preferred maple syrup, and he'd made coffee and put a jug of creamer out. "This looks good, babe," Ted said, taking a seat. "Completely unnecessary."

"I'm pretending it's your birthday." Paul shrugged. "I guess it isn't but—"

"It's not." Ted smiled. "Couple of months off yet."

"That's the most you're ever gonna give me right?"

"Maybe." Ted smiled. "There's a reason I don't talk about it. But I'll make sure we spend the day together." Not that it would be hard, Ted figured, they spent almost every day together.

"Good." Paul's soft smile was one Ted was used to, but could never get tired of. "You know, I looked into moving. I've got three months on this place, but I don't mind double the rent for a while. I could move in January."

"Oh. Yeah." Ted smiled. "Yeah that… That's fine."

"Just fine?"

Ted shrugged. "It would happen eventually. January isn't better or worse than any other time. It's fine."

"Hmm." Paul narrowed his eyes, and it was adorable and a little ridiculous. "Okay."

"Okay." Ted leaned over to kiss him. "I love you."

"I love you too." Paul smiled. "Hey, wanna go out later? Just for a walk or something."

"Sure." Ted smiled. "Just let me eat first. And maybe a shower, if you care to join?"

Paul laughed. "Okay."

"Okay." Ted smiled.

It was a perfect day, and not just because Paul was being Paul, but just as much because they really had the day to themselves.

Paul moved in January, over the course of a weekend, in a flurry of activity and mess until Ted's apartment was back to normal.  _ Their  _ apartment, now, after dating for just over a year. It looked like it always had, Paul wasn't much of a decoration guy, but there was his clothes in the closet they now shared, and there was a DVD player below the TV and a box of DVDs next to it, and other little things. It was different and strange and lovely, and Ted was entirely okay with it.


	16. Epilogue

Once again, Ted’s birthday matched the anniversary of his sister’s death, which didn’t surprise him because Ted knew how time worked. It still sucked.

He did, however, take the day off, and Paul did as well, which he appreciated. They stayed in their apartment, curled up in bed save for when Paul got up to get them food. They ate in bed.

“Hey Paul?” Ted said when they actually went to sleep.

“Yeah?”   
“I promised we’d spend my birthday together, didn’t I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then


End file.
